lessons need to be learned Lydia!!

i am mad. i dropped my tool, my beautiful camera. and i probably did it on purpose, i kept talking about "upgrading," now, it's broken and i can do nothing. ahhh, i am really mad, i don't know how to take care of possessions, all books become stained with food and tea, bent at the edges. clothes are stained...is it unconscious, my attention elsewhere? i will start to pay attention. when i take a sip of tea, i will watch as my hand returns the cup to the table, and put it on a piece of paper or get a fucking coaster. already there is a cup stain on my beautiful wood desk, the desk that helps me to write and be organized....let me take care of my things, these things which can serve me. they keep me warm, allow me to photograph, play with photoshop and speak with people around the planet. it is time to pay attention, because dropping things constantly is not working.